


You Posted In The Wrong Number Neighborhood

by Alex_Wants_To_Die



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Barista GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade Friendship (Video Blogging RPF), Gay Panic, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I can't type Quackity correctly apparently, I'm Bad At Summaries, Idiots in Love, LGBTQ Themes, Multi, Tags Are Hard, Touch-Starved GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, they're idiots your honour
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-20
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-18 22:28:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28874577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alex_Wants_To_Die/pseuds/Alex_Wants_To_Die
Summary: Sapnap decides to create a group with his number neighbors(inspired by Depressed_Anon here on AO3)
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs/Sapnap
Comments: 19
Kudos: 262





	1. Dre- heart been broke so many times ✊😔

**Author's Note:**

> for help:
> 
> (321-***-001) Wilbur  
> (321-***-002) Karl  
> (321-***-003) Tubbo  
> (321-***-004) George  
> (321-***-005) Skeppy  
> (321-***-006) Dream  
> (321-***-007) Quakity  
> (321-***-009) Sapnap

**(321-***-009 has created a groupchat)**

**(321-***-009 has named the groupchat "You posted in the wrong number neighborhood")**

**321-***-002-** an old meme

**321-***-002-** charming

**321-***-002-** also what is this?

**321-***-009-** welcome number neighbor 

**321-***-004-** You're supposed to only text one or two tho?

**321-***-009-** I don't follow rules

**321-***-002-** hot

**321-***-004-** I-

**321-***-004-** Ok

**321-***-007-** u sound like a bottom

**321-***-004-** I literally just got here, what the hell

**321-***-001-** He's not wrong tho Gogy

**321-***-004-** Oh no

**321-***-001-** :)

**(321-***-004 has left the chat)**

**(321-***-001 has added 321-***-004)**

**321-***-001-** No escape :)

**321-***-004-** Already hate it here

**(321-***-008 and 321-***-010 have left the chat)**

**321-***-007-** bitches 

**321-***-004-** They can leave but I can't?!

**321-***-006-** no escape Gogy :)

**321-***-004-** Literally do not call me that

**321-***-006-** Gogy

**321-***-001-** Gogy

**321-***-005-** Gogy

**321-***-002-** Gogy

**321-***-007-** Gogy

**321-***-009-** Gogy

**321-***-003-** Gogy

**321-***-003-** Whats a bottom?

**321-***-002-** oh

**321-***-002-** oh you sweet summer child

**Gogy-** Fucking hate it here

**Gogy-** Can I get names?

**321-***-003-** I'm Toby but my friends call me Tubbo :D

**321-***-002-** im Karl

**321-***-009-** I can already tell you're hot 

**Karl-** ;)

**321-***-009-** call me Sapnap

**321-***-006-** I'm Dream

**Gogy-** "Dream"?

**Dream-** yea

**Dream-** 'cause I'm your dream guy ;))))

**Gogy-** Ew

**Dream-** ;((((

**Sapnap-** while saving your contacts i accidentally typed Dre instead of Dream and i think you should all know that

**Gogy-** DRE

**Dre-** NO

**321-***-001-** Im Wilbur Soot

**Gogy-** Wimbur Scoot

**Wimbur Scoot-** Fuck you

**321-***-005-** Skeppy

**321-***-007-** Quackity

**Gogy-** Wow, your name's not the weirdest one Dream

**Dre-** I find you oddly attractive

**Gogy-** Again.

**Gogy-** Ew

**Dre-** :(

**Sapnap-** don't do my man like that Gogy c'mon

**Dre-** heart been broke so many times ✊😔

**Gogy-** Can I leave yet

**Karl-** you love us

**Gogy-** Debatable

**Quackity-** aww he defensive

**Gogy-** I hate you the most

**Quackity-** I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING???

**Gogy-** Call me a bottom again and you won't have a left testicle anymore

**Quackity-** I'M NOT WRONG ABOUT U BEING DEFENSIVE THO?????????

**Gogy-** Tubbo is the only one who's valid

**Skeppy-** yoy barwli kniw hom

**Gogy-** I don't speak stroke

**Skeppy-** yoy barwly knoe him

**Skeppy-** yoy

**Skeppy-** yoy

**Karl-** take your time

**Skeppy-** you barwly know hkm

**Karl-** close enough

**Gogy-** Did I stutter?

**Gogy-** Tubbo you're the only valid one

**Tubbo-** :D

**Dre-** agreed tho

**Wimbur Scoot-** You don't know him like I do

**Wimbur Scoot-** He's chaotic

**Quackity-** how do u know everyone in here

**Wimbur Scoot-** I just know everything about everyone

**Wimbur Scoot-** Schlatt broke his keyboard again and stole your milk

**Quackity-** HOW????????


	2. Karl- all men do is lie smh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one's shorter y'all

**Gogy-** I hate costumer service

 **Karl-** you work in retail?

 **Gogy-** Work in a café

 **Gogy-** Woman just tried to convince me I did her drink wrong three times in a row so she could get a free one

 **Gogy-** Then proceeded to blame me for her bag of crisps being mostly air

 **Sapnap-** c r i s p s

 **Sapnap-** what are you? British??

 **Gogy-** Yes?

 **Quackity-** bri-ish

 **Gogy-** Wilbur's also British???

 **Gogy-** And so is Tubbo according to Wil

 **Wimbur Scoot-** George, please get back to work

 **Dre-** "George"? "please"??? who are you and what have you done to Scoot

 **Wimbur Scoot-** I'm Bad, George's boss (•ω•`)

 **Skeppy-** gube yoie nymbwr do wr csn aff yoy

 **Wimbur Scoot-** Okay :D

 **Wimbur Scoot-** _321-***-021_

**(Skeppy has added 321-***-021)**

**321-***-021-** Hello!

 **Quackity-** how the fuck did you read that

 **Bad-** Language!

 **Quackity-** oh

 **Quackity-** oh you're one of those people

 **Gogy-** Bad, in your own words

 **Gogy-** "please get back to work"

_**04:21pm** _

**Sapnap-** need someone to bail me out of jail

 **Karl-** free my man he ain't do shit

 **Dre-** what did you do

 **Sapnap-** drugs

 **Karl-** my man do drugs

 **Dre-** where are you?

 **Sapnap-** jail?

 **Dre-** ok yeah let me just go to every single jail in Orlando looking for you

 **Sapnap-** oh shit lol yea

 **Sapnap-** I'll dm you

_**04:57pm** _

**Sapnap-** YO DREAM'S HOT Y'ALL

 **Sapnap-** LIKE DAAAMN

 **Wimbur Scoot-** Daddy Dream?

 **Dre-** please don't call me that

 **Karl-** i thought i was hot sap

 **Karl-** all men do is lie smh

 **Sapnap-** you're still the hottest bae

 **Gogy-** You literally have not seen him yet

 **Quackity-** i love how u use literally in like every sentence

 **Sapnap-** i just can tell

 **Sapnap-** like i can tell you're probably short

 **Gogy-** I'm average height 

**Dre-** so short?

 **Gogy-** Each day the urge to leave grows stronger 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writer's block is strong in this one


	3. Karl- George kicked him in the shin really hard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these are just gonna get weirder

**Quackity-** do rocks have feelings?

**Gogy-** What

**Quackity-** they dodnt choose toj become bricks to build towers

**Quackity-** what if they wanted to be a bridge

**Quackity-** and they get tossed back into a river after being submerged so long

**Wimbur Scoot-** I have a pet rock 

**Quackity-** set it free bro maybe it doesn't wanna be ur pet

**Wimbur Scoot-** You have opened my eyes dear friend

**Gogy-** Quackity are you high?

**Quackity-** Hey this is Schlatt, yes he's high

**Gogy-** Are you also high?

**Quackity-** No, just in debt 

**Wimbur Scoot-** Are you taking care of him?

**Quackity-** Nah, I'm just eating a hot pocket

**Wimbur Scoot-** What actually is one of those? I've never had one

**Quackity-** It's like bread, but there's like meat and cheese in the middle

**Quackity-** And then you put it in the microwave and then you just kinda eat it once it comes out

**Wimbur Scoot-** So is it like if you took a pizza and like folded it over?

**Quackity-** Yeah kinda

**Quackity-** But it's like

**Quackity-** Complety encased in the bread

**Wimbur Scoot-** Oh ok

**Wimbur Scoot-** Is it like Italian or..?

**Quackity-** Oh no no no

**Quackity-** It's not Italian

**Gogy-** Something about this conversation makes me extremely uncomfortable

**Sapnap-** 10 bucks they'll pretend this conversation never happened once they're done

**Gogy-** I don't have 10 bucks

**Sapnap-** 2 bucks?

**Gogy-** You really overestimate where I'm standing financially

**Wimbur Scoot-** C'mon dude we're just talking about hot pockets

**Gogy-** I can hear you giggling Wilbur

**Wimbur Scoot-** Oh you can hear me?

**Gogy-** If you say that again I will kill you, Wilbur

**Wimbur Scoot-** What are you gonna do from down there? Kick me in the shin?

**05:07pm**

**Bad-** Why is Wilbur crying on the floor of the break room??

**Karl-** George kicked him in the shin really hard

**Wimbur Scoot-** DO TOU HAVE A FUCKING BRICJ IN YOUR BOOTS

**Sapnap-** stop being so dramatic

**Sapnap-** Gogy can't do shit

**Gogy-** I'll kick your ass, Snapmap

**Dream-** SNAPMAP

**Sapnap-** call me Snapmap again and we're gonna have issues

**Dream-** I'd let George kick me any day

**Karl-** and then he says he's not a simp smh

**Gogy-** You literally don't know what I look like

**Dream-** literally don't need to

**Dream-** but if you do send a pic i wouldn't complain ;)

**Gogy-** Fine

**Dream-** wait what

**Gogy-** I'll pm you a picture of me

**Dream-** WHAT

**Sapnap-** i bet 10 bucks he'll send a picture of feet or something

**Wimbur Scoot-** I also don't have 10 bucks

**Sapnap-** y'all are broke af

**Dream-** my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

**Sapnap-** what?

**Gogy-** You know I had to do it to 'em


	4. Quackity- do it like the greeks

**Wimbur Scoot-** You know,

 **Wimbur Scoot-** "Song Of Achilles" is really romantic and tragic and a beautiful masterpiece until you remember it's set in ancient Greece

 **Wimbur Scoot-** So that meant they cleaned their clothes with pee, whitened their teeth with pee and just did a lot of stuff with pee

 **Dre-** they also used olive oil as lube

 **Wimbur Scoot-** Wait really?

 **Dre-** yeah, dude it was like, really famous back then because gay men used it as lube so much

 **Wimbur Scoot-** Since you know so much about this, is it safe?

 **Dre-** I don't know dude, i just find it funny they used olive oil as lube

 **Quackity-** to fanfic writers out there who use spit as lube, do u realize how fast that shit dries?

 **Quackity-** dick's gonna be drier than a desert once it gets in there

 **Dre-** we talking gay or straight

 **Wimbur Scoot-** Maybe it has to do with the chemical combination of the spit? Have you noticed when you run a lot it thickens? Maybe the hormones changed it a bit?

 **Quackity-** bro, i just think spit would not do it, not only bc it dries fast as fuck but also a blob of spit can slick your entire dick????

 **Quackity-** must be small dicked dude

 **Quackity-** also if u use a lot of lube your throat starts hurting and it smells bad

 **Wimbur Scoot-** I don't think the smell is a valid argument

 **Quackity-** stfu these are concerns of mine

 **Sapnap-** guy's got a tiny dick, don't shame tiny dick Allen, man

 **Gogy-** Spit smelling weird?

 **Quackity-** too much spit smells so bad dude

 **Gogy-** How did you gather this information?

 **Quackity-** that's private info

 **Wimbur Scoot-** I think

 **Wimbur Scoot-** It's your spit

 **Wimbur Scoot-** I once filled an entire jar full of spit (mine) (FOR SCIENCE) and it only smelled of victory

 **Wimbur Scoot-** And chewed almonds

 **Karl-** spit does smell horrible when you're sick

 **Gogy-** Quackity do you like dentists?

 **Quackity-** no??

 **Gogy-** Then maybe it's your mouth that stinks 

**Sapnap-** WASH YOUR TEETG

 **Quackity-** guys please

 **Sapnap-** you gonna lick pussy with lube??

 **Quackity-** there's flavored lube????

 **Gogy-** Lube costs money?

 **Gogy-** And it's not cheap

 **Karl-** it's also nasty and sticky

 **Quackity-** olive oil

 **Quackity-** do it like the greeks

 **Gogy-** Quackity, for the love of God never in your life do that

 **Gogy-** I seriously don't believe you want your significant other's genitalia smelling like your mum's lunch

 **Quackity-** how much fucking olive oil does your mom put in her dishes Jesus Christ

 **Gogy-** Please stop thinking about spitting on dicks, there's people spitting on each other's mouth

 **Dre-** hot

 **Wimbur Scoot-** Well.


End file.
